Year of Wellness

When you have been sick for as long as I have been, believing that you will feel well again can be difficult.  Sometimes I forget what it feels like to be well.  To be honest, I have forgotten what it feels like not to be sick.  It isn't that I dwell on being unwell.  Just, it is that I forget that recovery is possible.

Recovery has many definitions. Webster’s New World Dictionary (1970), defines recovery as: a regaining of something lost or stolen, a return to health, consciousness, etc., a regaining of balance, control, composure, etc.

As I was driving to my doctor's for one of my regular visits, I was shocked to discover that I haven't been envisioning what it would be like to be well again!  I haven't aimed to feel better.  My focus was on anything but getting better!  Was it because I didn't think I would be well?

When I got to my parking spot, I turned off the ignition and had to sit there awhile to gather my thoughts.  When was I planning to feel well?  I don't want to be adjusting my medication, monitoring my thoughts and checking my moods forever, do I?  So...

It was like stumbling upon a lottery ticket.  Or, finding a $100 dollar bill and getting to keep it.  Yes, I want to be well.  I want it to be soon.  Okay!  I am going to "plan" to be well soon.  I will keep striving towards wellness.  This is MY commitment:

This year, I will make my health my number one priority.  My family and I will put our own needs first.  We will work hard on getting better together.  We will get well soon.

Putting yourself first to get better, sooner, isn't selfish.  It doesn't matter how long this is going to take.  Make it  your priority to get well.  I deserve to feel well, and so do you.  C'mon, join me.  We will get well together!

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Road To Recovery

I got to get going
If I don't leave now
I will miss my chance
I got to get moving
I don't want to be late
I have a chance
There is a wide area to let me pass
It is very clear
So I got to go now while I can
There is no one to stop me
I got to get going
The road of recovery is just ahead of me
I can trust my beloved to help me
I got to get moving to recovery
If I miss the chance there is no turning back
There is no one to stop me but myself
I must follow the road to recovery
I got to go now
The clear opening is closing
I must make my choice now
I'm running
Running as fast as I can to the end of this road
I will be able to live again
I'm got to keep moving
I don't want to end this way
I'm on the road to recovery
There is no one stopping me
I got to keep moving
This will be my new beginning
I must keep going
On the road to recovery... 

Credit:  Munches2008

May I Babysit Your Child?

If you know that I suffer from mental illness, would you be comfortable putting your child in my care?  For a little while?  Just 15 minutes?  For 5 hours?  Over a period of time, or once in a blue moon?

What would make you feel comfortable?  If there's a track record of children regularly in my care without any accidents or mishaps?  Or, if I work alongside a co-worker in a supervised childcare facility?

Or, do you need to know the nature of my mental illness?  Would you request a doctor's note?  Or, seek references from other parents who have had their children in my care?

I applaud the parent who is unafraid to seek information, references, professional opinion, etc., before putting their child in the care of an individual.  Do not be afraid to ask about someone's track record.  It is NOT an infringement of privacy if someone offers childcare services.  Your child is an important person whose safety, happiness and health are of utmost importance!

As a responsible parent who suffers from mental illness for the past 4 years, I understand the trials of being a caregiver.  Sometimes, I am simply not able to care for my own child with maximum attention.  This is just an aspect of mental illness.  Consider this definition:

Mental illness is what it says; it is an illness of the mind in which a person to some degree loses control over aspects of their thoughts and/or their feelings. It can be very mild- such as mild depression when things look much worse than they are - or very severe - for example when a person’s life is totally dominated by an illness such as schizophrenia, and they cannot live independently.

Having said this, I trust you will not use my illness as a reason to ostracize me.  I am a human being who is worthy of being treated respectfully.   The unfortunate statistic is such that many families have to deal with mental illness in various degrees of severity.  As a society, we must learn to deal with mental illness in careful, healthful, and helpful means.  A community that reaches out for the best of every person thrives.

 

References

 

“Being seen and heard”: the needs of children of parents with mental illness: multi-media training pack for use of staff involved with parents and their children.

Gopfert, M., Webster, J. & Seeman, M. 2^nd edition (eds) (2004) 'Parental Psychiatric Disorder' - Distressed Parents and Their Families. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

• Revised by the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ Child and Family Public Education Editorial Board.
• Series Editor: Dr Vasu Balaguru
• With grateful thanks to Dr Alan Cooklin.

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More Information

Crossroads care for youngcarers
Information and support about being a young carer including information about local groups.

MDF: the Bipolar Organization

Supports people with a diagnosis of manic depression and their families.

Princess Royal Trust forCarers

Information, advice, discussion and support for carers, and young carers: YoungCarersNet: http://www.youngcarers.net/

Rethink Mental Illness

Offers information and advice to people with severe mental illness and their carers.

Minds, Myths and ME booklet, produced by four British young carers, available from the Royal College of Psychiatrists. 

‘When a parent has a mental illness’: film for young carers by Dr Alan Cooklin.

Why am I angry?

It was a nice sunny afternoon.  Hubby, Son and I decided we'd go for a drive.  We packed our individual bottles of water and off we went.

We stopped at a few of our usual stops and bought a bit of this and that, things that we thought we'd need to have even more fun in the sun.  After our last stop, we decided to make our way back home.  Since it was dinner time, we discussed what we'd like to do.  We couldn't agree.

Then, Hubby decided he'd like to pick up some Chinese.  I was not in the mood for Chinese, but couldn't say what I'd like.  Hubby asked me very nicely if I'd call the restaurant for him.  All of a sudden, I felt a wave of anger over me.  I was livid!

I was shocked; what was I angry about?  There was no reason for me to be angry.  Absolutely no reason.

As we made our way home, I looked out the window and tried to let the beauty of the valley and the warmth of the sunshine dissolve the anger.  I didn't want to feel this way.  I was disappointed with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me.

Eventually, the anger subsided, and I started to calm down.  Before I got the chance, my darling Hubby apologize to me!  I am the one who owes him an apology.

Mental illness sufferers have to deal with strong emotions that can be unexplainable.  Sometimes, handling our emotions are extremely difficult.  Our feelings take hold of us but we must try to master them.  For the sake of those who love us, we must try again and again to control our emotions.  We could hurt the ones who are our greatest supporters, if we are not careful.

There is support and help for those of us who need assistance with our feelings.  Don't think you must handle your feelings on your own.  Talk to someone.  Find supporters.  Feel better!

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More Information

Canadian Mental Health Association - Anger

Mental Illness & Creativity

The Nova Scotia division of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) recently discussed mental illness and creativity.  While creativity does not lead to mental illness, it is interesting to note that many who suffer mental illness seem to be individuals (see more information, below) who are highly successful and share their creativity with the world. 

I began drawing and realized that I am enjoying it.  Once I acknowledged this, I started to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.  Somehow, admitting that I have a little talent (draw & colour), makes me want to hide or become invisible.  Is this normal?  Do you do the same with your talent(s)?

When I draw, my mind no longer focuses on things or feelings that distract me from enjoying the drawing.  When I colour, my mind lets the different colours come to life on a page.  Every drawing is different.  Each page is unique. It is refreshing how a white piece of blank paper can become something beautiful, positive, and lively!  Not a day passes when I don't return to my sketchbook and colour markers. 

Drawing and colouring puts me at ease.  There is a sense of happiness and peace that comes from a quieter inner part of me.  I feel like I can fly and soar above my present circumstances.  I feel whole, as if I am full to the brim with all things good and noble.  I become thankful for the things I have, for the people I love and for the things I can do.

This is my blessing.  May it also bring you healing, happiness, and all the good things you deserve.  Shalom.

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More Information

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201202/the-celebrity-coming-out-mental-illness

http://health.discovery.com/tv/psych-week/articles/celebrities-mental-disorders.html

http://www.mentalhealthministries.net/links_resources/other_resources/famouspeople.pdf